HBDA no.1: Why am I an artist?


Why am I an artist? I’m not currently making any money as an artist. I haven’t really sold a piece…yet. Maybe if I sold at least one piece, I could use it to pay at least one of my bills. Man…it seems like when I worked full-time, I could hardly create. Now that I work part-time, I can hardly eat.

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My living room has 35 canvases splattered with finished and unfinished work, and that does not include the canvases hidden in my bedroom closet. A lot of it I may never finish because I’m a better artist now than I was when I started them. Now I wonder: why does it seem like I can’t get my ideas down fast enough? It’s almost like a ticking time bomb starts in my mind when I come up with an idea; like the idea is going to explode into terribleness if I don’t get it down immediately. So far, my family and friends do a great job encouraging me, but I can’t help but notice that they’re holding their breath. I can’t help but notice that my lack of income is stretching them thin too. My uncle went to my mother and asked her to cut me off financially. Man…that did hurt, but it at the same time motivated me to get my ish together. How am I in my early 20s depending on my family? I’m suppose to be so much further than this! I have a degree, therefore I should be somewhere making at least 60K a year, right? I should have a fully furnished home for family and friends to come visit, right? My dining room shouldn’t be my “studio,” right? I should be in some big city, working downtown, with full benefits…right?

Naw. I’ll just keep painting. I will keep creating anything I can and “struggling” to get to where I would like to be. My goal is to at least sufficiently sell one painting at a great price!

World’s Dopest Artist.

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