HBDA no.3: Job Searching is Soul Searching

I’m currently looking for a full-time job, but I can’t help but think about the last time I worked full-time and couldn’t devote any time to my true craft. I’m hoping to have my first real art showing later this year and I want to eventually plan a solo exhibition. The question is: will I have the time? The money is calling though. My stomach is growling…though. Do I listen to the dream? Or the bills? Do I answer to my heart or the energy company cutting off my lights? Do I really want to be a painter for a living? If I do, will I always be a starving artist?

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I’ve never liked the term “starving artist,” but I am accepting that it is my current phase. I knew it had be true when I took my last 20 dollars to buy new art supplies rather than buying groceries. A couple years ago, I would have never expected to be here today. At that time, I wanted to be a counselor of some sort. That would make sense considering I went to college for Psychology, but somewhere along the path I decided that wasn’t for me. Maybe it was when I studied abroad in Venice, Italy and visited the Biennale; I saw literally hundreds upon hundreds of paintings, sculptures, abstract pieces, realistic pieces and more from artists all over the world. I stood in front of some painting that I inconveniently can’t remember and said to myself, “I will be a painter.” I didn’t believe myself at the time. Low key, that statement has been ringing in my mind ever since.

I truly feel like if I can be anything in my life, I would be an artist. I don’t have to be famous, I don’t have to be the best, and I don’t have to be rich. All I ask is that I can be this for a living.

World’s Dopest Artist.

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